Observations from The Grand Lake Bum

What a great week in Tulsa last week at the Tulsa Boat, Sport and Travel Show.  Everybody seemed to have a great show, great sales and a great time.  Everybody in Tulsa went all-out for the attendees.  Thursday morning, the Wyndham Tulsa even had a wake-you-up exercise program for guests.  Just when my buddy Williford was about to step into the shower, the fire alarms went off on the tenth floor.  He dutifully donned a few clothes (thank goodness) and headed down the ten flights of stairs.  There was no fire, of course, but everyone was refreshed, I’m sure, from the little exercise program – even Williford, who began breathing normally again in about two hours (after his inhaler treatment).

 

The biggest hit of the show was the Grand River Dam Authority’s “Team Sexy,” consisting of GRDA booth hosts and Lake Patrolmen Jason Littlefield and Scott Cox.  Veteran GRDA team member Brent Davis showed up belatedly and I asked pointedly if he was trying to weasel his way into the “Team Sexy” spotlight.  “Hey,” he said, “It wasn’t ‘Team Sexy’ until I got here.”  We all have dreams, know what I mean?

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Most everybody from Grand Lake made it back to the lake in time for the big Super Bowl parties.  What a day.  Before making my rounds during the game, I started with the free stuff, of course, hanging out at Greg and Brooke Bolton’s gigantic Monkey Island Tailgate Party – Cajun Style.  WOW!  It was so unbelievable, I called to make reservations at The Shebang Wednesday night where Greg will be the Guest Chef (February 8).  I must say, I was really proud of most of the Super Bowl fans, including those at the stadium in Indianapolis.  We finished far ahead of the Egyptian soccer fans, 74 of whom were killed in a post-game riot last week.  What the hell is wrong with people?  It’s soccer, for heaven’s sake!  Aside from my buddy Charlie Mitchell, who even cares?

 

Can anybody explain why Grand Lake businesses can’t seem to put together the organization necessary to acknowledge that all of us are actually residents of the same lake?  Ever since Terry Frost dreamed up “Welcome Back Weekend” back when Duck Creek was just a duckling, it has been held the first weekend of March (weather permitting).  This year, all of a sudden, there’s an announcement from the Grand Lake Chamber that it has been moved to April 7.  What?  So now, there are two big Grand Openings (at least).  Monkey Islanders will still have “Welcome Back Festivities” on March 2-4, with their usual pre-Welcome Back Kroak-Off Festival at Big Shots the weekend before that, February 25.  South Grand, on the other hand, is apparently sticking to the new calendar, and won’t open the “Welcome Back” doors until Easter this year.

 

There is great news out of the University of Texas this week.  They have released the results of a 20-year study concluding that regular drinkers are less likely to die prematurely than those who do not consume alcohol at all.  In fact, the study says non-drinkers are 69% more likely to die prematurely.  UT researchers concluded that alcohol is a “social lubricant” and strong social networks are essential for maintaining mental and physical health.  As it turns out, that age-old toast “Here’s to your good health and long life” turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I believe I’ll have another!

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In light of the aforementioned UT study, some enterprising Grand Lake pub should offer the services of a bar called the Mad Capper Saloon and Eatery. My buddy Dan Finnefrock passed along this important advertising message. The sign in their window reads “Husband Day Care Center:  Need time to relax?  Need time to yourself?  Want to go shopping?  Leave your husband with us.  We’ll look after him for you.  You only pay for his drinks.”  Kinda makes you want to get married, doesn’t it, guys?

 

The National Chicken Council recently released information proving that the first week of February is a very tough time to be a chicken.  Super Bowl Sunday, mathematically speaking, occupies 0.27% of any given year, yet 5% of the nation’s annual chicken wing consumption is eaten that one day – the product of 300 million chickens.

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The Daily Oklahoman newspaper had an enlightening headline last week:  “Many Oklahomans Lack Wealth to Fend Off Poverty.”  Can’t disagree with that breaking news.  Nothing fends off poverty like being wealthy.

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Speaking of poverty, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney had a tough case of “foot in mouth” disease last week when he made the statement “I don’t care about the very poor,” then, as if to further emphasize the point, spent the next day campaigning with his newest major supporter, Donald Trump.

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The Oklahoman also had a big copyrighted story Sunday about the FBI setting up a fake Georgia company that hired an Oklahoma lobbyist in an apparent attempt to get lobbyists and lawmakers to do something illegal.  They spent a bunch of money, but apparently they were barking up the corruption tree in the wrong state.  No one was ever indicted for anything, and the FBI’s company joined others in the business community who were forced to close their doors last year.  Your tax dollars at work.  Couldn’t the FBI spend their time better by finding those guys whose pictures they have in the post office?  Obviously they’re not very good at running a business.

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Don Cornelius, the legendary founder and host of the television dance series “Soul Train” died last week (killed himself, actually).  Here’s your Grand Lake Bum Soul Train Trivia Question of the Week: Who owns the Soul Train television series, video tape footage, name and usage rights – and even plans to bring the series back to television?  If you guessed legendary NBA superstar Magic Johnson, you’re right.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS:  My buddy Beau Reed celebrated his 33^rd birthday on Sunday, February 5 – the day of a pretty big football game.  So, naturally, all his pals went to a party celebrating his life and age: “ The Super Beau XXXIII Party.”  Happy Birthday wishes also go out to Mark Blanchett and Corey Whitehead, both great Grand Lakers who celebrated birthdays last week – and 6-year-old laker Ava Moser celebrates all week this week.  Happy birthday, kids!

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

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BEST LIVE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE WEEK:  Ronnie Dunn at the Hard Rock Casino in Tulsa Thursday night, February 9 (Sold Out) and  “Fuel” performing Saturday, February 11 at Buffalo Run Casino.

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EVENTS OF THE WEEK:  The theatrical production of “Sam and Laura” continues at Playmakers in Grove – and the author of the play, Ron Powers, will actually be present for the performances in Grove this weekend.  Unbelievable! Performances are Friday, Saturday and Tuesday at 7:30 – Sunday matinee at 2:00.  The Grand Lake Home & Garden Show is coming up, too, Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Grove Civic Center – Friday 3-7, Saturday 10-6, Sunday 11-3.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK:  “Who was the first person to see a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out’?”  (Thanks, Bud Gammell)

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Mark your calendars for Sunday night, February 26, NBA fans.  The dream line-up we all dream of seeing in Oklahoma City will be the starting as the tandem of forwards for the NBA All-Star Western Conference:  Kevin Durant and Blake Griffin.  Wow!  If that’s not enough, Kobe Bryant and Chris Paul take the guard spots with Andrew Bynum in the middle.  Now that’s what I call an All-Star team!  The OKC Thunder has a great All-Star line-up on any given night, though, and they have a great TV line-up this week. They’re in Portland for a Monday night game with the Blazers (9:00 on FSN) before facing the Golden State Warriors Tuesday night (9:30 on FSN).  Thursday, they’re in Sacramento taking on the Kings (9:30 on TNT), then it’s on to Utah to meet the Jazz on Friday (9:30 on ESPN).  I hope your team wins…if your team is the Thunder.

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A great weekend is ahead.  We’re headed for temperatures above the 50-degree mark under sunny skies and fabulous Valentine offerings at area restaurants.  There are great basketball games on the schedule and Tiger is on the course for his PGA opener of the year at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am.  It looks like a good weekend for boating, golfing, schmoozing your sweetheart or partying at the bar.  If you choose the latter, remember to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me.

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  It’s all at your fingertips, right there on the internet.  www.360grandlake.com is the place to look.   Check it out. In the meantime, here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

• American Grill in Grove
• Anna's Bananas on Monkey Island (smoking in bar)
• Aquabar at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (closed for the season)
• Armadillo's on Monkey Island (smoking)
• Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley (smoking in the bar)
• Back Roads south of Ketchum (smoking)
• Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking—open Friday & Saturday nights)
• Black Diamond Trading Company south of Langley (smoking and drinking mandatory)
• Broclees Grill on Highway 59 North in Grove
• Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
• Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
• Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
• Chicken Coop in Langley
• Cruizer's Bar & Grill at Port Carlos Marina (smoking on patio only)
• Docks at Harbors View Marina
• Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
• Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
• El Vallarta Mexican Restaurant in Grove
• Fat Daddy's Bar & Grill, Red Arrow Marina (smoking on deck)
• Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
• Grand Lake Burrito in Ketchum
• Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
• Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
• High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
• Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (closed for the season – Opens March 2)
• Jokers at Royal Bay at the base of Sailboat Bridge in Grove
• J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
• Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
• La Casita de Martin in Grove
• Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
• Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
• Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
• Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
• Mulberry’s Family Restaurant east of Disney (old Cosby’s Catfish)
• Oliver's Twist on South Grand east of Disney (smoking on patio only)
• Ozzie's on Monkey Island (closed for the season)
• Pensacola Pizza & Pasta in Langley  (smoking on patio only)
• Poppy’s Café in Bernice
• Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Resort & Marina (closed for the season)
• Rancho Viejo in Grove
• Roadhouse Restaurant on Monkey Island (smoking area)
• Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
• Royal Bay Restaurant and Dinner Theater (Sailboat Bridge, Grove)
• Sandra’s Diner in Grove
• Scooters in Langley (smoking)
• Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
• Spoon Bill’s in Ketchum
• Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
• Summerside Winery in Vinita
• Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
• The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
• The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
• The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
• The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking in bar area and patio)
• Trail’s End Barbecue in Grove
• Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking – closed for the season)
• VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
• Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
• Winner’s Circle Café at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice (Smoking on deck)