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Keep up with the events around the Grand Lake Community! Enjoy the Random Observations from The Grand Lake Bum.

Grand Lake Bum
1234 Two Tree Island
Grand Lake, OK
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Grand Lake Bum 5-21-17

Welcome to Grand Lake’s Memorial Holiday 2017. We filled the lake up all the way so there would be room for everybody’s boat. It’s hard to find a silver lining in all the flooding, but at least there are a lot more waterfront homes and businesses than there were a few weeks ago. This too shall pass. Just be careful out there.

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Remember, the Official Lake Bum Holiday Rules are in effect this weekend.  No fighting, no puking, no hitting on someone else’s date, no griping at over-worked servers and bartenders, no bragging about how much money you have (or your parents have), no drunk driving, no public nudity, no yelling, no discussion of religion - and especially no politics!  As with all summer holiday weekends, you may have a little longer wait for a seat, a drink, or some food. Be nice. If everybody who’s coming this weekend would come every weekend, everybody could staff up for giant crowds. So, maybe you should buy a house while you’re here and come join the party all year! By the way, don’t get cranky on your attempt at Sunday morning drinking. Bars & restaurants can’t sell beer until noon and can’t sell liquor until 1:00 on Sundays. Establishments in Mayes County can’t sell liquor on Sunday at all. Don’t be mad. It’s not their fault. It’s the law. We’re still the biggest party spot in Oklahoma! Have fun and remember to leave big tips for the people who are working through your party weekend to make sure you have fun.

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My gal pal Vicki Graper celebrated her 65th birthday Saturday night, the same way she celebrated her 60th – by proving she can still do the splits – five times over the course of the evening – each time on top of the bar at a different club. It was an amazing feat; and by the time she finished her congratulatory beverages at the fifth bar, she was REALLY limber! “Limp” might be a better word. #islandersareflexible

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Grand Lake dentist Dr. Rick Miller is affectionately referred to as “Dr. Gadget” by his staff because of his affinity for the latest & greatest medical equipment inventions – but I don’t recommend that he follow the rather extreme lead of Alaskan dentist Seth Lookhart who authorities viewed on a video of the good doctor extracting a sedated patient’s tooth while riding a hoverboard. He had apparently sent the video to his office manager under the heading “A New Standard of Care.” Medical authorities weren’t impressed, by the way.

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In Tennessee, State Representative Mike Stewart set up the ultimate curbside one-stop shopping spot. In an attempt to show the absurdity of Tennessee’s non-regulation of private gun sales, he put up a sign at his roadside establishment on Capitol Hill in Nashville offering passersby a variety of sale items – “Lemonade, Cookies – and AK 47 Assault Rifles.” What could go wrong?

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Smart is a matter of interpretation. As the great writer H.L. Mencken said, “You can always tell a truly brilliant man because his opinion always pretty much coincides with your own.” IQ is, however, a fair accepted rule of thumb. So what President of the U.S. had the highest IQ? Keep in mind, the “normal” IQ of intelligent humans is 95-105. George Washington, George H.W. Bush, John Adams, FDR, Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, and Millard Fillmore all had IQ ratings in the 140s. Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Kennedy were in the 150s. Thomas Jefferson was the only one with an IQ rating in the 160s…but John Quincy Adams, and Barack Obama had ratings in the 170s. Trump? We don’t know yet. His test at 156 was later proven false, but we don’t know if his IQ is lower or higher.

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Promoters say Paul McCartney will be in concert at OKC’s Chesapeake Arena July 16. Hmmm. Are we sure that’s Paul? Are we sure it’s not really Billy Shears. Poor Ringo Starr. I think the butter has finally slid off his noodle. He told reporters last month that Paul McCartney was actually killed in a car wreck in 1966…but they replaced him with Billy Shears, winner of a Paul McCartney look-alike contest back then. They must not have even told Paul’s family. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the kind of thing they could have hidden. For the record, Paul called reporters to his house to tell them the reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated by “a pool old senile man.”

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Only in America! Former U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert, now in prison for sexual abuse of a 14-year-old boy, says he paid $1.7 million in secret hush-money payments in an effort to keep the boy quiet. Since the victim talked to authorities and testified against Hastert, the former Speaker of the House says the victim should refund the $1.7 million due to “breach of contract.” Sheesh.

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GRAND LAKE DRINKING UPDATE: The Blind Swine Bar & Cigar Lounge opens Thursday at 4:00 for drinks only (former location of The Armadillo on Monkey Island). The non-smoking family-friendly restaurant portion of The Blind Swine will open in the near future – prior to the 4th of July.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK (outside an employee dressing room): Raise your hands and touch your toes. If anything shows, go change your clothes.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I planned to work out and have a nice body for people to look at this summer; but as it turns out, I like food better than I like people.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Pam Jackson, Todd Mlnarik, Don Oden, Cheryl Ayer, Ron Blaylock, Jim Arnold, Kelli Dyer, Seth Lewandowski, Bill Hodge, Lori Magoulas, Drew Wyrick, Arlene Seybolt, and Ron Griffin.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  How did the man who invented cottage cheese know when he was done?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: It’s Memorial Weekend on Grand Lake. We don’t need any special events. However, GRDA’s free tours of the Pensacola Dam begin Monday, Memorial Day, and run through Labor Day.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: Needless to say, there’s a TON of live entertainment around the Grand Lake area for Memorial Weekend. If you’re into the hair band scene, Rocklahoma claims rights to the biggest Memorial Weekend Party in the country at Pryor this weekend with non-stop shows Friday-Sunday from literally dozens of bands. Details and band line-ups are at www.rocklahoma.com.

At The Shebang on Monkey Island, you are the entertainment. There’ll be karaoke at the Balcony Bar Friday,Saturday & Sunday nights. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes and the wit and wisdom of DJ Sway nightly, Friday-Sunday. Just down the highway from there, Friday night isKaraoke Night at Monkey Island Pub; and just down the road, there’s always great entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon.

On South Grand Lake, Rick Hancock & Bulletproof will perform at Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney on Friday night, with Chunky Monkey taking over the entertainment at Mooney’s Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. Lickitty Split will be on stage at Grand Lake Casino both Friday night – and Sunday night, with This Side Up sandwiching a show in between on Saturdaynight. At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, Audio Crush will entertain Friday night, and The Leslie Serrano Band takes the stage Saturday night. Cherokee Casino Grove will feature the acoustic sounds of Darren Ray Thursday night, Almost Kiss Friday night and Phil Vaught Saturday night. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West hosts Lucas Gates Friday night. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Fun House. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Chris Hyde. Friday night features the music of Mayday by Midnight, followed by Dirty Saints both Saturday and Sunday nights.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Andy Cohen’s revival of Love Connection debuts Thursday night at 7:00 on Fox – and theRed Nose Day Special is also Thursday night at 7:00 on NBC.  The Season 3 premiere of Bloodline is availableFriday on NetFlix. Season 13 of Whose Line Is It, Anyway kicks off Monday night at 8:00 on CW; and Season 12 of America’s Got Talent premieres Tuesday night at 7:00 on NBC.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Baywatch and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: I’m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I gotta go pee, I should be okay. (Appropriately shared by the stressed out Shangri-La Catering Director Linda Wall and Executive Chef Michael Bujold)

 

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday, June 2 – “Barkaritaville” party at Honey Creek Landing & Marina featuring live music and cheeseburgers in paradise, as well as an auction to raise money for the Second Chance Pet Rescue (6:00-10:00 p.m.). Saturday, June 3 – SLWGA-sponsored Women’s Scramble for all female Shangri-La Club members (12:30). Saturday, June 3 – Home of Hope Admirals Banquet at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Monday-Thursday, June 5-8 – Junior Players Academy at Shangri-La Golf Club. Wednesday, June 7 – Shangri-La Team presentation to Grove Rotary Club. Saturday, June 10 – Camp Bandage at Grand Lake RV Park (10-2). Saturday& Sunday, June 10-11Dennis James, Terry Jordan, and Ron Young present Musica Curiosa: Livin’ the Ragtime Life at the Coleman Theater in Miami (7:30 Sat – 2:30 matinee Sunday). Friday, June 16 – Grove Rotary Club Lobsterfest, Grove Civic Center at 5:30. Tuesday, June 20 – Men Against Violence luncheon atnoon at 1st Methodist Church in Grove (D.A. Kenny Wright will speak). Friday, June 23 – formal dedication of Shangri-La’s new Resort Hotel (4:00 p.m.). Saturday, June 24 – Free Boating Safety Course at GRDA Ecosystems Center in Lanley (8-5).

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This weekend, NBA Conference finals continue although, the way the Warriors have been playing, we may not have as many televised games as are on the schedule. Eastern Conference games featuring the Celtics and Cavaliers are scheduled for Thursday, Saturday, and Monday (as needed) on TNT – and the Western Conference finals with the Warriors and Spurs are scheduled Friday and Sunday (if needed) on ESPN.

The PGA Tour moves all the way from Irving, Texas to Fort Worth this week for the Dean & Deluca Invitational. Coverage on the Golf Channel begins at 3:00 Thursday & Friday and noon Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.

Everybody’s favorite automobile race, the Indianapolis 500 is this weekend with coverage beginning Sundaymorning at 11:00 on ABC. NASCAR drivers are in Charlotte again this weekend, and they’ll be running Sunday, as well. Coverage of the Coca Cola 600 begins at 5:00 Sunday on Fox.

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Weather for the Memorial Day holiday weekend looks pretty darn good. After a week of rain chances, skies are set to clear on Friday, Saturday,Sunday and most of Monday. We may have a handful of scattered storms lateMonday, but other than that it looks excellent with high temperatures around 80 and lows around 60. Watch out for debris and high water hazards, but other than that, it looks like a dandy party weekend to roll out the summer season! Remember, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up.

 

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

Grand Lake Bum 5-14-17

Except for continually rising lake levels, we enjoyed a virtually perfect Mother’s Day weekend at Grand Lake. I hope everybody’s Mother had a day to remember. The weather was outstanding – and I’m pretty sure everyone who wasn’t at a college or high school graduation ceremony was at the lake. It was awesome. Everywhere I went was absolutely packed! The new Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina was packed day and night – and the weather stayed nice enough in the evenings that the Balcony Bar at The Shebang was filled with singers at the karaoke bar until way late. I believe summer has finally arrived! Next weekend should be even bigger with colleges out for the year – and next up after that is Memorial Weekend. Grab a tight hold and get a faraway look in your eye. Here we go!!!

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In Britain, government officials are getting complaints about the new 5-pound note which is made out of a new polymer product. Citizens are complaining that the new 5-pound note cuts their noses when they use it to snort cocaine.  Google it. I don’t make this stuff up!

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Sometimes we underestimate the power of trending diets (or overestimate the intelligence of the people around us). In Tecumseh, Oklahoma last week, law enforcement officials lured druggies into their sting operation by offering to test their meth to make sure it was gluten-free.

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May-September marriages don’t always work well, but we have a couple of high profile test cases in the political arena. Newly elected French President Emmanuel Macron is married to a woman 24 years older than he is. Ironically, that’s the same age difference between President Trump and his wife Melania. The difference is, President Macron’s wife will live with him. 

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I know not everybody who reads this column knows me personally, but those who do will know why I am supportive of the newly released study that concludes “bald men are smarter, stronger, and sexier.” Can I get an “Amen?”

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Is it a sign we’re getting older when Jimmy Buffet’s new big gig is the kick off groundbreaking celebration for his new development of a retirement center?  Seriously. “Latitude Margaritaville” may sound like a club – but it’s really Buffet’s new series of retirement home developments in Florida. The first is in Daytona, with occupancy of the first homes next year.

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Amidst all the turmoil over President Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey, there wasn’t much focus on who will step in to take the most perilous job in the country. A few heads finally popped up, but for a long time everybody seemed to be ducking their heads and turning the other way when their name was mentioned for the post. I was afraid the post of FBI Director was going to be another one of those jobs that no American would want, and we’ll have to fill it with an immigrant!

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There’s been a Sasquatch sighting in Colorado. According to Darrel Whitaker from Glenwood Springs, it was far more than a normal sighting. He said Sasquatch knocked him to the ground, tore his clothes, and tried to rape him. Whitaker says he stabbed him in the shoulder with his hunting knife, and Sasquatch ran off. I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but when the cops arrived, they couldn’t find Sasquatch….again.

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In Hood River, Oregon, Edwin Charge, Jr. and two accomplices tried to rob a business, but ran off when police showed up. The two accomplices were arrested, but Ed was a little more fleet of foot. He took off and outran the cops across I-84 and into the woods. They probably wouldn’t have ever caught up to him if he hadn’t run off the edge of a cliff…to his death. Sometimes, it’s just better to give up.

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Hey, I think I may have spotted a job for which I am actually qualified – and interested.  France’s space medicine operation near Toulouse is offering 24 job opportunities that pay $17,500 for two months “work.” The job involves simply lying in bed continuously, doing nothing, so they can study the effects of virtual weightlessness. Like most great job opportunities, there’s a catch, of course. They’re serious about “doing nothing but lying there.” All bodily functions have to be carried out while keeping at least one shoulder on the bed. If nothing else, it might make a great YouTube video!

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QUOTE WORTH REQUOTING from Lon Harris: “So, how long before GoFundMe is our nation’s leading healthcare provider?

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DEEP THOUGHT: The human body is 60% water. I’m not fat. I’m flooded!

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GRAND LAKE DINING AND DRINKING BY WATER UPDATE: The AquaBar at The Landings Marina opens for the season Thursday; and season-opener for The Quarterdeck Café  at Tera Miranda Resort is Friday!

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I don’t mean to brag…but I just put a puzzle together in one day, and the box said 2-4 years.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Vicki Stockwell, Charlie Mitchell, Charlie Russell, Paula Silzer, Bob Hart, Marshall Brackin, Randy Hess, Debbie Hess, Nolan Couch, Bill Flegler, Randy Hefley, Vicki Graper, Kevin Blumenthal, Ron Tipton, Edward Gibbs, Mel Martin, and Jim Richie.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  Who was the first person to look inside an oyster shell and say, “Hmmm….that big piece of snot looks delicious!”?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Golfers may want to brush up their skill sets with the “Back to the Basics” Bunker Play Clinic at Shangri-La Golf Club Friday at 5:00. The South Grand Lake Lions Club KCBS sanctioned BBQ Festival is this weekend –Friday night and all day Saturday at the Langley ball fields. Saturday is also the Barkaritaville fundraising “Parrothead” benefit for Second Chance Pet Rescue, 5:00-9:00 at Honey Creek Landing/Parrot Restaurant/music by The Exit 34. Saturday andSunday are Civil War Days at the Har-Ber Village Museum in Grove. Saturday, GRDA will host a Boating Safety Course from8:00-5:00 at the Ecosystems Center in Langley (no charge).

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday & Saturday nights. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub and Saturday night is the big Steampunk costume party. Just down the road, there’s always great entertainment Saturday night and Sunday afternoon at the Road Hog Saloon.

In Grove, Exit 34 will provide musical entertainment for the Barkaritaville party for Parrotheads to raise money for the Second Chance Pet Rescue Saturday evening from 5-9 at Honey Creek Landing Marina.

On South Grand Lake, Mike Barham will perform at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina Friday night – and Empire will take over entertainment duties Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. Thursday night is another At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, Mayday by Midnight will entertain Friday night, and Another Alibi takes the stage Saturday night. Cherokee Casino Grove will feature Rod Robertson Friday night and The Pumpkin Hollow Band Saturday night. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West hosts Big Smitty Friday night. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Str8ight Shot. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by nighTTrain. Friday night features the music of The Uncrowned Kings, followed by Torn Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Season 3 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt will be available Friday on NetFlix. ; The Wizard of Liesstars Robert De Niro as Bernie Madoff Saturday night at 7:00 on HBO. Sunday night, you may need your DVR. The 2017 Billboard Music Awards show is at 7:00 on ABC, A Bundle of Trouble: an Aurora Teagarden Mystery is on the Hallmark Movie & Mystery channel at 8:00; and Season 3 of Twin Peaks also gets underway at 8:00 on Showtime.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Alien: Covenant and Everything, Everything

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “In France this month, far right-wing candidate Marine Le Pen lost the presidential election by millions of votes. And here’s the cool part: in France, if you lose by millions of votes, that means you don’t get to be president.” – Conan O’Brien

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SAVE THE DATE: Friday-Monday, May 26-29 – Memorial Weekend on Grand Lake! Saturday, June 3 – Home of Hope Admirals Banquet at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Monday-Thursday, June 5-8 – Junior Players Academy at Shangri-La Golf Club.Wednesday, June 7 – Shangri-La Team presentation to Grove Rotary Club. Friday & Saturday, June 10-11Dennis James, Terry Jordan, and Ron Young present Musica Curiosa: Livin’ the Ragtime Life at the Coleman Theater in Miami (7:30 Sat –2:30 matinee Sunday). Tuesday, June 20 – Men Against Violence luncheon at noon at 1st Methodist Church in Grove (D.A. Kenny Wright will speak). Friday, June 23 – formal dedication of Shangri-La’s new Resort Hotel (4:00 p.m.). Saturday, June 24– Free Boating Safety Course at GRDA Ecosystems Center in Lanley (8-5).

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This weekend, we’ll have play underway to determine the final two teams in the NBA Playoffs. The Western Conference Championship Series is on ESPN – the Eastern Conference finals are on TNT.

The PGA Tour rolls into Irving, Texas this week for the AT&T Byron Nelson Classic. Coverage on the Golf Channel begins at3:00 Thursday & Friday and noon Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at2:00.

NASCAR drivers are in Charlotte this weekend for some Saturday night racing. Coverage of the Monster Energy Open begins at 5:00 Saturday, followed by the Monster Energy NASCAR All-Star Race at 7:00, both on Fox Sports 1.

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Weather for the weekend ahead looks much like the one gone by. We might have a shower or two Friday, and maybe a scattered shower or two Saturday. Otherwise - sunshine, light winds, and high temperatures in the mid-70s Friday, and pushing 80 Saturday & Sunday. Hopefully, water levels will be down significantly, we’ll be rid of most of the debris from the flood waters – and we’ll all be on the lake! Remember, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up.

 

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

 

The Grand Lake Bum 5-7-17

The high water notwithstanding, we certainly had a terrific weekend on Grand Lake. If you let a little flooding and debris scare you off, you missed a lot of fun. We burned our socks at Harbors View Marina, kicked off the outdoor live entertainment season at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina, enjoyed a terrific Grand Opening of Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, caught the Kentucky Derby at the Buffalo Bar – and checked out all the new stuff at the lakewide In-Water Boat Show. GRDA canceled their Lake Launch Grand Fiesta, but that’s okay. I had too much to do, anyway. I’d say the season is officially underway at Grand Lake!

*****

The legislation may have very little chance in the U.S. Senate, but the House of Representatives passed new “TrumpCare” legislation to replace Obamacare before they took a little Spring Break, obviously worn out from actually working. They were finally under so much pressure that they say they’re going to remove the Congressional exemption from participation in the new plan. That’s a good start. Now, they just have to put all American workers at a minimum pay level of $174,000 per year (plus expenses, staff budget, and benefits) to match their Congressional salaries. Then we’ll be even!

*****

Anybody who has ever taken on the task of building something has undoubtedly run into unexpected problems and inevitable delays. We can all roll with the punches a little, I’m sure, but I would think the “botched job of the decade” award should go to the new Berlin Brandenburg Airport. Originally scheduled to open in 2012, an unbelievable volume of malfunctions has moved the opening back to at least 2020. Among the problems: cabling wrongly laid out; escalators too short; 4,000 doors incorrectly numbered; a chief planner who turned out to be an impostor; complete failure of the "futuristic" fire safety system, e.g., no smoke exhaust and no working alarms (provoking a suggested alternative to just hire 800 low-paid staff to walk around the airport and watch for fires). The initial $2.2 billion price tag is now $6.5 billion (and counting). 

*****

If you have extra money you can’t figure out how to waste, here’s an opportunity I ran across. A company called Blacksocks has introduced Calf Socks Classic With Plus -- a pair of socks with an internet connection. The smartphone app can help you color-match your socks and tell you, among other things, whether it's time to wash them. (Ten pairs, $189) 

*****

Maybe we ought to re-think our fascination with eating competitions. A 42-year-old guy choked to death at a Denver donut shop when he tried their “Tex-Ass Challenge” to eat “a half-pounder,” the equivalent of six donuts, in 80 seconds. He’s not alone, either. In Fairfield, Connecticut, a 21-year-old died after he choked and collapsed during a pancake eating contest at Sacred Heart University. People taking on such challenges should probably stop saying they can do it…or die trying. There’s always the chance they might do the latter.

*****

In Britain, Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Philip (Queen Elizabeth’s husband) is retiring from all royal duties at age 95. My pal Casey Davis is always observant of the ironies in the world. “Pathetic that there is no work requirement for him to continue to receive government housing and benefits,” Casey writes. “I want him drug tested incessantly.”

*****

Sometimes things just get really complicated. Take, for example, the Alabama man who had been utilizing a website to connect with prostitutes over the last few years. Last month, he told his wife he was going fishing, but he actually went to a motel in a neighboring city and connected to the website, searching for a new hooker. He found one, contacted her, and arranged for a meeting at the motel. When the prostitute arrived, it was hard to determine who was more furious – the man, who discovered he actually knew the prostitute – or the prostitute, who turned out to be his wife. Predictably, they are separated now; but…I guess they could still hook up through the website for sex, at least.

*****

That reminds me of a joke my pal Mike Burnett shared: Two potatoes are standing on the corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? It has a sticker that says – Idaho.

*****

Did you remember to celebrate the big holiday last weekend? No, not Cinco de Mayo. The other holiday.Saturday was “Naked Gardening Day.” I traveled as much of the Grand Lake shoreline as I could, but I couldn’t find anybody celebrating.

*****

In case you forgot to put it on your calendar, May is “Buy Your Husband a Boat Month.”

*****

GRAND LAKE DINING AND DRINKING BY WATER UPDATE: The Quarterdeck Café  at Tera Miranda opens for the season next week – Friday, May 19.

*****

BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Being cremated is my last chance for a smoking hot body.

*****

BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: It’s hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall. When it rang, I’d pick it up without knowing who was calling. Amazing I’m still alive.

*****

GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Marc Moser, Pam Wyrick, Roger Haglund, Curt Landry, Darryl Gupton, Lorri Dyer, Roger Cook, Kelly Brecheisen, Lyn Goss, Brett Aberle, Josh McAffrey, Pat McConn, Nancy Adkisson, Gary Cameron, and Chance Grubb.

*****

UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  What do people in China call their good plates?

*****

BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: Cobra Golf Demo Day at Shangri-La Golf Club is Saturday (9:00-1:00); and the Shangri-La Men’s Golf Association Fourball Tournament is Saturday, as well. 

*****

GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunesFriday & Saturday nights. Just down the highway from there, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub; and Lickitty Split will provide the entertainment at the Road Hog Saloon Saturday night.

On South Grand Lake, Mike Barham will perform at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina Friday night – andEmpire will take over entertainment duties Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. Thursday night is another ThrowbackThursday free concert at Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar. Marty Haggard will entertain with a tribute to his day, Merle. Friday night, Diversity takes the stage – and the ShotgunBillys wrap up the weekend Saturdaynight. Cherokee Casino Grove will feature Risky Business Friday night and Thomas Martinez Saturday night. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West hosts The Band DeLorean Friday night; andSaturday night is another big UFC Fight Night watch party (Miocic vs. Dos Santos 2 and Joanna vs. Andrade).Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Curt Hill. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Scotfree. Friday night features the music of Southern Green, followed by Oreo Blue Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, PGA Golf, and the NBA Playoffs are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

*****

BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Miss USA Pageant is Sunday night at 6:00 on Fox; and NBA Playoffs continue through the weekend.  Bull is Tuesday night at 8:00 on CBS.

*****

BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword and Snatched

*****

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “C’mon, Oklahomans. Smoke! Drink! Gamble! We’ve got a budget to make. Do it for the kids!” – Randy Krehbiel, Inductee into the Oklahoma Journalism Hall of Fame

*****

SAVE THE DATE: Friday, May 19 – Quarterdeck Waterfront Café at Tera Miranda opens for the season. Friday-Saturday, May 19-20 – South Grand Lake Lions Club KCBS sanctioned BBQ Festival at the Langley ball fields. Saturday, May 20 – Barkaritaville fundraising “Parrothead” fundraiser for Second Chance Pet Rescue, 5:00-9:00at Honey Creek Landing/Parrot Restaurant/music by The Exit 34. Saturday-Sunday, May 20-21 – Civil War Days at Har-Ber Village Museum in Grove. Friday-Monday, May 26-29 – Memorial Weekend on Grand Lake!Saturday, June 3 – Home of Hope Admirals Banquet at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Monday-Thursday, June 5-8 – Junior Players Academy at Shangri-La Golf Club.

*****

We’re closing in on selection of the final four teams in the NBA Playoffs. Round 2 games continue as needed this weekend, with the East and West Championship series getting underway, as well.

It’s a huge week on the PGA Tour. The big kids are in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida at TPC Sawgrass for The Players Championship. Coverage on the Golf Channel begins at noon Thursday & Friday with live coverage throughout the daytime hours over the weekend. Coverage of the final two rounds will begin at 1:00 Saturday &Sunday on NBC.

NASCAR drivers are in Kansas City this weekend for some Saturday night prime time racing (The Go Bowling 400). Coverage begins at 6:30 Saturday night on Fox Sports 1.

*****

We’re on tap for another great weekend of spring weather. We might have a shower or two Friday, but the sun comes out Saturday for a great weekend of sunshine, light winds, and high temperatures in the mid-70s with lows around 50. Hopefully, we’ll be rid of most of the debris from the flood waters – and we’ll all be on the lake! Remember, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up.

 

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

Grand Lake Bum 4-30-17

The rapid rise of Grand Lake due to 15 inches of rain in recent weeks has given the shoreline a new look and has added new debris that floated our way from Kansas. Be careful out there. At least we finally have a sunny, warm, not-so-windy weekend in sight – and it couldn’t come at a better time! I’ve never seen the Shangri-La golf course like it was over the past weekend. It looked more like a water park than a golf course. I’ve heard of water hazards, but sheesh – everything but the tee boxes and greens was a water hazard. I suppose we’ll be wishing for rain in August; but we’ve certainly had enough now! I’m ready for the weekend ahead.

*****

I had a great time Saturday night reminiscing with some oldies performed perfectly by The Old Bulldog Band at Big Shots. There’s nothing more fun that watching a crowd of fifty-and-sixty-somethings taking in enough old tunes and liquor to believe they are once again twenty-somethings. Not only could the crowd understand the words to the songs – they already all the words to every song, anyway. It looked like a giant sing-along dance! Equally important is the fact that the event raised almost $10,000 for the continuation of the Monkey Island Pedestrian and Golf Cart Trail. Nicely done, Islanders – and Old Bulldogs!

*****

A couple more seasonal operations are opening this weekend, GRDA is officially launching the season with their Lake Launch Grand Fiesta Friday night, Saturday we’re burning socks; and the lake’s biggest boat dealers are having in-water shows all weekend long. It’s a great time to be a Grand Laker!

*****

If you’re looking for a career, you might want to consider becoming a cop in St. Louis. Cops with the rank of Captain or higher are allowed to take their police vehicles home for personal use. However, it turns out department policy is silent on the issue of driving the vehicles after drinking. They are prohibited from drinking “while operating a motor vehicle.” As it turns out, according to the city Personnel Director – “perhaps we need some clarification of the definition of “while.”

*****

By the way, drunks aren’t the ultimate bad guys on the road, anymore.  According to new statistics on fatality accidents, the biggest problem is no longer alcohol…it’s drugs. My guess is that even drugs will soon be surpassed by “texting” as the biggest cause of accidents.

*****

Poor United Airlines can’t seem to get out of its own way. On the very day they settled the “dragging him down the aisle unconscious” incident with Dr. Dao, more news emerged about Donna Weigel’s incident on a plane scheduled to travel from Baltimore to Chicago. She was seated near a cat, but asked that the cat be moved somewhere else because of her severe allergy to felines. Instead, the United crew moved Donna… right off the plane. The cat, on the other hand, made it to Chicago on time.

*****

Speaking of cats, there’s a cat in North Carolina that has been labeled a hero after alerting a family about carbon monoxide in the house. Apparently the cat didn’t want any competition suffocating the family in their sleep.

*****

According to Fark, Russian beauties are being urged to rack up support for Vladimir Putin by busting out revealing shirts emblazoned with his image. Think of it as his war chest.

*****

Beef producers are now giving florists a run for their money. SayItWithBeef.com is now offering a bouquet of beef jerky shaped to look like roses (or daisies, if you prefer). Chief selling point: fresh-cut flowers die quickly, but jerky is forever.

*****

The Oklahoma House of Representatives designated last Wednesday, April 26, as Denim Day in recognition of the importance of reporting sexual violence. Believe it or not, Denim Day originated in response to a 1998 Italian Supreme Court ruling overturning a rape conviction. The idiot justices determined that, since the victim was wearing really tight jeans, she must have helped her rapist remove the jeans, thereby implying consent. Sheesh. I suppose if the rapist had cut the jeans off of her, the justices would have said, “Well… you know, she did have those scissors in her apartment, so….” You can’t fix stupid – even on the Supreme Court!

*****

“If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?” – Steven Wright

*****

GRAND LAKE DINING AND DRINKING BY WATER UPDATE: Increased demand and the opening of new venues has resulted in Shangri-La’s Summit Restaurant and Buffalo Bar now being open exclusively to Members & their guests, and resort guests – but, as one venue closes to the public, another opens! Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina opens this weekend - and Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina opens, as well. It’s nice to see the accessible-by-water bars opening. Boating was starting to be a downright thirsty sport!

*****

Weird fact of the week: According to the Science of Nature Journal, the global spider population consumes about 400 million tons of prey each year. If you need a comparison for consumption by the hungry spiders, that’s about the same amount, by weight, of the total consumption of meat and fish by the entire human population!

*****

BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: National Sarcasm Society – like we need your support!

*****

BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: In just a few years, 1990 will be thirty years ago. When I think about “thirty years ago,” I still think 1970.

*****

GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Michael Garner, Josh Goff, Grant Oden, Dean Strimple, Alex Swisher, Madison Miller, Paula Sanford, Charlie Franczyk, Jimmie Tramel, Pam Borin, Tony Coatney, John Dillingham, Cherie Long, Donna Belt, and Stephanie Gragg.

*****

UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  Do children in China grab the toy out of their McDonald’s Happy Meals and say, “Hey, I made this!”

*****

BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: There’s plenty to choose from this weekend, for sure! There are boat shows all over the lake this weekend – Arrowhead Boat Sales, Cedar Port Marina, Dick Lane’s of Grand Lake, Grand Lake Boat Sales at Hi-Lift Marina, MarineMax at Harbors View Marina, Nichols Marine at Shangri-La Marina, and Ugly John’s at Thunder Bay. Friday is the season opening day for the all-new Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina. Friday night at 6:00 is the GRDA Lake Launch featuring a Grand Fiesta at the Ecosystems Center in Langley. Saturday afternoon beginning at 4:00, it’s the annual Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina.  

*****

GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room and Clint Walker in the Back Stage Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday &Saturday nights. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub.

On South Grand Lake, Lickitty Split will perform at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina Friday night – and Reverse Reaction will take over entertainment duties Saturday night.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West will feature music from The Bobby D Band Friday night. Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino’s Showplace, Casey Donahew will be on stage. At Buffalo Run’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night withWestern Justice. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music by Joe Giles & the Homewreckers. Friday and Saturday nights, Aces Wild will entertain.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, PGA Golf, and the Kentucky Derby are Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

*****

BUM MUST-SEE TV: Chris Gethard: Career Suicide is Saturday night at 9:00 on HBO; and The MTV Movie and TV Awards Show is Sunday night at 7:00 on MTV.  

*****

BUM MUST-SEE MOVIE: The Lovers and Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2

*****

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “William Henry Harrison had a better first 100 days, and he was dead for 69 of them.”

*****

SAVE THE DATE: Friday, May 12 – first Friday Night Shrimp Boil of the season at Harbors View Marina. Saturday, May 13 – first Saturday Night Fajita Night of the season at Harbors View Marina. Sunday, May 14 – Mother’s Day. Monday, May 15 – Official Pool Opening at Monkey Island RV Park. Friday, May 19 – Quarterdeck Waterfront Café at Tera Miranda opens for the season. Friday-Monday, May 26-29 – Memorial Weekend on Grand Lake! Saturday, June 3 – Home of Hope Admirals Banquet at Shangri-La Resort Hotel. Monday-Thursday, June 5-8 – Junior Players Academy at Shangri-La Golf Club.

*****

It’s Round 2 of the NBA Playoffs this week. Thursday and Friday night games are on ESPN this week. Saturday games are on ESPN and ABC. Sunday games are on ABC and TNT.

The PGA Tour heads for North Carolina this week and the Wells Fargo Championship. Coverage begins at 1:00 Thursday &Friday, and 12:00 Saturday & Sunday on the Golf Channel. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sundayat 2:00.

It’s a big weekend for horse racing fans. Saturday is the 143rd running of The Kentucky Derby. Coverage begins at 1:30 on NBC – but actual post time for the Derby is 5:34.

NASCAR drivers are running in Talladega this weekend (The Geico 500). Coverage begins at 1:00 Sunday on Fox.

*****

Weather for the weekend ahead looks just perfect for In-Water Boat Shows, opening of Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina, GRDA’s Grand Fiesta Lake Launch event, and burning of the socks. Highs will be in the mid-to-upper 70s with sunshine and light winds. There’s a lot to do this weekend – and perfect weather to do it! Remember, though, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up.

 

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

Grand Lake Bum 4-16-17

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend, got stuffed with a fabulous brunch – and I hope you little ones found all the eggs the fun way before you find them the bad way – rotten and stuck to the bottom of your flip-flops. Isn’t it funny how kids can pick up 100 eggs in three minutes, but they can’t pick up three toys off the living room floor in a week?

*****

I hope the nation’s First Family had a nice Easter, even if the White House Easter Egg Roll seemed a little “iffy.” I do hope, however, the next time they decide to spend a holiday weekend in Mar-a-Lago, they can at least make the trip together instead of taking two government jets, two secret service contingents, etc. I realize they’re always on tight schedules, but c’mon…the jets arrived 10 minutes apart.

*****

Everyone is trying to get seats on United Airline flights these days. I understand they have a new customer “re-accommodation” program that has customers rolling in the aisles! The skies are still friendly; but the tarmac…not so much.

*****

Last Thursday, a scorpion actually fell from an overhead baggage container on a United flight and stung a passenger.  Believe it or not, that’s pretty much the best thing that happened to United last week.

*****

In fact, there may be one final piece of irony you hadn’t heard about that United Airlines incident. When Dr. David Dao was hospitalized in Chicago after being knocked unconscious, then dragged from the United flight, you’ll be happy to hear that United went ahead and flew his luggage safely to Kentucky.

*****

We don’t need no stinkin’ science! I guess that’s what the Oklahoma legislature thinks, anyway. They defunded all Oklahoma science and engineering competitions. In 2018, Oklahoma will be the only state with no State Science Fair. Aren’t we proud? NEWS BULLETIN – WAIT – one man has done more in one day than the legislature has done all year. Retired dentist James Young of Ardmore coughed up $50,000 to make sure we have a science fair at least one more year. Maybe by then we’ll have a better legislative make-up.

*****

Oklahoma Congressman Markwayne Mullin made national news last week by telling constituents they don’t pay his salary. He said he has paid more taxes than he will ever receive in congressional pay, so it’s “bull crap” for taxpayers to say they pay for him. I’m not sure I would have gone there if I were him. Pretty soon his constituents might be wondering when the federal government is going to pay them $174,000 a year to compensate for the taxes they’ve paid. In retrospect, if he’s sticking to that story, he probably made the right decision canceling his subsequent town hall meeting in Tahlequah.

*****

Somebody in the White House is either super paranoid or they really have a burr under their saddle for a Medicaid recipient who won the lottery. In my research, I couldn’t actually find such a person, but 10 pages of the 123-page Obamacare replacement bill offered by the White House is devoted to making sure no lottery winner receives benefits. It wasn’t clear whether being a member of the “lucky sperm club” was considered to be a lottery win or not.

*****

As you know, the U.S. dropped a bomb on Syria last week. It was the biggest non-nuclear bomb ever used in combat. It’s a MOAB which technically stands for Massive Ordnance Air Blast – but it’s affectionately defined these days as the Mother Of All Bombs. I’m confused a little. I remember comedian Wanda Sykes getting booed off the stage in Boston for her anti-Trump rant, then giving the crowd the finger as she cussed her way off stage. I thought that performance was the mother of all bombs.

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Somebody reach out to Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante in Miami-Dade County, Florida and let him know that the next time he decides to impersonate a copy, don’t try to arrest an actual cop. You can’t fix stupid.

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Somebody also needs to let Maritza Sanchez know that it’s not a good idea to set your parakeet free right in front of your dog who has been hoping to see that bird outside the cage just one time.  As it turns out, once is all it took.

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FAIRY TALE FACT OF THE WEEK: Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Viagra shipment stolen. Cops looking for gang of hardened criminals.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST THIS WEEK: I start the day with Cap’n Crunch and end the day with Captain Morgan because apparently… I want to be a pirate.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Dave Wagenblatt, Greg Bolton, Larry Sanford, Jackie Moore, Boyd Ayer, Trey Masri, Jim Forrester, Gaines Dittrich, Don Douglas, Judy Dullea, Randa Perry, Phil Carrott, and Leah Lewandowski.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK:  Why are there flotation devices under the seats of airliners instead of parachutes?

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BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Live boxing Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino featuring the 4-State Franchise.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There are lots of entertainment options around the lake this weekend, including Randy Lunsford performing through the weekend in the Burlesque Room and Clint Walker in the Back Stage Room at The Shebang on Monkey Island. Across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze, enjoy all the best dance tunes Friday andSaturday nights. Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub.

Area casinos have excellent musical options this weekend, as well. At River Bend Casino (formerly Wyandotte Casino), Club 60 West will feature music from The Stonehorse Band Friday night. At Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar, Friday night features Members Only with The Uncrowned Kings taking over Saturday night.  The Band DeLorean will perform atop the 1897 Bar at Cherokee Casino Friday night followed by Reverse Reaction Saturday night. Friday night at Buffalo Run Casino’s Showplace, it’s live boxing at its best featuring the 4-State Franchise. At Buffalo Run’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, there’s great music both Friday and Saturday night with Western Justice; and Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655 features music from Lost On Utica Saturday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar starting Thursday night with music byBryce Dicus. Friday night, The Band DeLorean will entertain (hmm, hope this works out - looks like they’re booked at Cherokee Casino Grove that night, too), followed by Paralandra Saturday night.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including NBA playoff action, NASCAR, and PGA Golf are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The new season of The Blacklist kicks off Thursday night at 8:00 on NBC with a two-hour special; and the season premiere of Silicon Valley is Sunday night at 9:00 on HBO.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Grow House and Ozzy

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “We can’t rely on solar power because we can’t tell people they will not have lights during the night.”– Senator Jeff Flake (R-Arizona) No, really!

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SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, April 29 – fundraising concert & dance featuring The Old Bulldog Band at Big Shots ($30 tickets on sale now – proceeds to the Monkey Island Golf Cart & Pedestrian Trail). Friday, May 5 – GRDA Lake Launch 2017 – “Grand Fiesta!” at Ecosystems Center in Langley (6:00-9:00). Friday, May 5 – Eddy’s Lakeside Bar opens at Shangri-La Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 5-7 – In-water boat shows at Nichols Marine at Shangri-La Marina, MarineMax at Harbors View Marina, Grand Lake Boat Sales at Hi-Lift Marina, Ugly John’s at Thunder Bay Marina, and Cedar Port Marina. Saturday, May 6 – Burning of the Socks at Harbors View Marina. Monday, May 15 – Official Pool Opening at Monkey Island RV Park.Friday, May 19 – Quarterdeck Waterfront Café at Tera Miranda opens for the season.

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It’s all about NBA Basketball in the sports world. It’s playoff time. First round games get underway this weekend. ABC hosts the first game at 2:00 Saturday. Sunday is a full schedule with a 2:00 game on ABC and a full TNT schedule with games at 4:30,7:00 and 9:30 p.m. We’re working through the third and fourth games of the first round of NBA Playoffs this weekend. The OKC Thunder host the Houston Rockets at 8:30 Friday (ESPN) and 2:30 Sunday (ABC). Thursday night’s schedule has Cleveland at Indiana (6:00 on TNT), Toronto at Milwaukee (7:00 on NBA-TV), and San Antonio at Memphis (8:30 on TNT).Friday night, in addition to the Thunder-Rockets game, Chicago hosts Boston at 6:00 (TNT) and the L.A. Clippers at at Utah (9:00 on ESPN2). Saturday, Toronto is at Milwaukee at 2:00, San Antonio is at Memphis at 7:00 (ESPN) and Portland hosts Golden State at 9:30 (TNT). Sunday’s line-up, in addition to the Thunder game, include Cleveland at Indiana at noon (ABC), Boston at Chicago at 5:30 (TNT) and the Clippers at Utah at 8:00 (TNT).

The PGA Tour heads for San Antonio this week for the Valero Texas Open. Coverage begins at 2:30 Thursday & Friday, and12:00 Saturday & Sunday on the Golf Channel. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.

NASCAR drivers are running at Bristol this weekend (The Food City 500). Coverage begins at 1:00 Sunday on Fox.

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Weather for the weekend ahead is just what we expect in April – a chance of a shower now and then, highs in the mid-60s. No, that does NOT mean “oh no, it’s going to rain all weekend.” Let’s get out there and have some fun! Remember, though, wherever you decide to play, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you.  It could be me. 

GRAND LAKE BUM

 

Want more information on advertisers you see in the Grand Lake Bum?  No problem.  Just click on their ad and you will be connected to their web site.  If you would like to join the growing list of sponsors of The Grand Lake Bum e-blast and the Bum’s page on both grandlakenewsonline.com and www.360grandlake.com, as well as Grand Times on Grand Lake, the cost is only $50 a week and the list of readers is growing.  E-mail or contact grandlakebum@gmail.com to sign up.

 

Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Roadhouse 125 on Monkey Island (smoking deck)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

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