Grand Lake Bum 7-24-16
Can you believe we have nearly wiped out another month? If you wanted to get in some July fun on the lake, this weekend is your last chance. The past weekend seemed a little more like an August weekend. The weather was beautiful – and perfect for morning and evening outdoor fun. In the afternoons, 100+ degrees is a little warmish for me. Good time to relax with a cold adult beverage in a cool bar or boat cabin. So…that’s what I did!
With the Republican National Convention in our rear view mirror and the Democratic National Convention wrapping up Thursday night – it’s on to the main event. I’m guessing no one can produce a new fall television program that will be able to compete with the entertainment value of the commercials in the Presidential race. It happens once every four years. The commercials are better than the TV shows. You can give that DVR a rest.
Oh, speaking of recording TV shows, that reminds me…if you are still using a VCR, you need to take very good care of it. It was a good run. It’s been 40 years since the first VHS tapes were rolled into production. Funai Electric in Japan is the last company in the world still making VCR units; and at the end of this month, they’re finished, too. The VCR is official dead next Monday.
Closed circuit memo to Tanya Hopper and Larry Webster over in Jasper County Missouri: sorry you got arrested, but the next time you decide to steal a lawn mower, you’ll probably stand a better chance of getting by with it if you don’t attempt to ride it home naked. (One of my tacky friends commented that naked lawnmower riding in Oklahoma is called “foreplay.”)
While we’re discussing “here’s-your-sign” behavior, here’s some advice for Martin Jayes of Leicester, England. Hanging out at the park with a buddy, shooting your laser into the cockpit of a police helicopter overhead is not a good hobby – especially if you already have 71 previous convictions on your record. Make that 72 now.
Ted Cruz made quite a spectacle of himself at Donald Trump’s Republican Presidential Coronation last week. Poor Ted. He got his letters mixed up. He meant to say “unite,” but it came out “untie.” Not to be outdone by the Cruz fiasco, the Democrats kicked off their national convention week by firing the Chairman of their organization. Heeeeere we go!
I don’t have any idea who selected the music for the Republican National Convention last week, but I wonder if they still have a job. What were they thinking? After Donald Trump finished his record-long nomination acceptance speech, the balloons fell from the ceiling as the public address system blared the Rolling Stones singing You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Nope. I did not make that up.
GRAND LAKE TRAFFIC ALERT: If there are several cars behind you and none in front of you, you’re the problem.
I happened to be traveling through an airport last week and when I had to empty everything out of my pockets at TSA I realized the change in my pocket was the biggest hassle in getting my stuff back together. That made me wonder how many people just don’t mess with it. Well – my curiosity is your source of knowledge. Here’s the answer: in 2015 TSA collected $765,000 in loose change left behind in airport scanner trays. That probably doesn’t even count what they found behind the cushions in sofas.
I thought I was bad, but I believe Mark Herron of Sunderland, England must hold the record. His most recent arrest was the 448th time he has been arrested on alcohol related charges. His lawyer admitted that his client has actually been in court more times than he has.
The federal government finally shut down an international psychic group that was promoting a program to guarantee subscribers “winning lottery numbers.” I guess the dumb smacks who bought into the scam had never wondered why psychics who know winning lottery numbers don’t just play those numbers themselves. I guess, in a sense, the psychics actually did win a lottery of sorts. They pulled in $180 million from idiot subscribers before the feds shut them down.
LEGAL ADVICE (from Josh Davis): When a judge asks for your address, it’s probably not a good idea to start of your reply with “www.”
BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: “Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make American grate again.”
BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Hey, it’s me, your Facebook friend from high school who never left our hometown & thinks Olive Garden is fancy. Anyway, here’s a racist article….
GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy Birthday wishes go out this week to Patricia Mitchell, Emily Smith, Justin Barrett, J.B. Robison, Kenny Smith, Kane Russell, Amy Regan, Kirk Woford, Cheryl Brecheisen, and Tammy Botts. Congratulations, too, to Shangri-La Golf Club, Resort & Marina. The Grand Lake Resort is this month’s cover story in Wisconsin-based Midwest Golfing Magazine. I’d say the word is out.
UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? And is there an abbreviation for it?
BEST EVENT OF THE WEEK: Cars for Critters indoor car show benefiting 2nd Chance Pet Rescue – 11-3Saturday at Grove Civic Center (good chance to have some fun and get out of the heat, too!)
GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: On Monkey Island, Island Joe’s Kentena at Shangri-La Marina will have three big shows to wrap up another month this weekend. T-Bird will be live Friday night.Mason/Dixon takes over the IJK stage Saturday night, and Larry Bolton will be back to wrap up the weekendSunday afternoon. Randy Lunsford performs most evenings at The Shebang in the Burlesque Room, and there is karaoke fun Friday & Saturday nights on the Shebang Balcony Bar. Big Shots will be open Friday & Saturday nights, as well, with great dance music. Just down Highway 125, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub, and there’s always great entertainment at Road Hog Saloon.
On South Grand Lake, Mark Barnham & The Honky Tonk Prophets will be on stage at Sharkys at Hammerhead Marina Friday night. Saturday night, Sharky’s patrons will hear from RPM with David Duval. Rocket Fisch will perform Friday night at Michelle’s Grand Lodge Bar & Grill in Ketchum, and Recommended Dose will performSaturday night.
In the Grove area, there are two nights of great music this weekend at J.R. Spanky’s (Highway 10 Northeast of Grove). The Bobby D Band will take the stage both Friday and Saturday nights.
Area casinos add great musical options this weekend, as well. SRV, a Stevie Ray Vaughn tribute band kicks off the weekend Thursday night at Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar. Friday night is red dirt country night featuring the Aaron Woods Band, and Another Alibi rocks the weekend wrap-up Saturday night at Legends. Kenny Babbperforms both Friday and Saturday nights in the Lovers Leap Lounge at Downstream. At Buffalo Run Casino’s Trailer Park Bar & Grill, The Sex will be on stage both Friday and Saturday nights. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, there are free line dancing lessons every Wednesday night. This weekend, Exile-50 Years will provide theFriday night musical entertainment, followed by Heath Wright & The Hangmen Saturday night. At Indigo Sky Casino, there is live entertainment in the Echo Bar, starting with Georgia Coast Thursday night. Heath Wright & The Hangmen perform Friday night and Dawn Cate & The Rhythm Kings take over Saturday. Big Smitty entertainsFriday night at Wyandotte Casino’s Club 60 West. Saturday night, The Dropouts take the stage. If you’re looking for comedy, it’s at The Stables Casino in Miami. Darryl Knight will be on stage Friday & Saturday nights along with special guest H.D. Reeves.
The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action are the Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La, Island Joe’s at Shangri-La Marina, Monkey Island Pub, the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Road Hog Saloon, Pickles at the Lake in Langley, Hookers at Cherokee Yacht Club and J.R. Spanky’s northeast of Grove.
BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Democratic National Convention should be entertaining – airing Monday-Thursdaynights on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. Tallulah will be available beginning Friday on NETFLIX. Madam Secretary airs Sunday night at 8:00 on CBS. Teen Choice will air live on Fox Sunday night at 7:00.
BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Café Society, Bad Moms and Jason Bourne
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “If we allow politicians to succeed by scaring people, we don’t actually end up any safer. Fear doesn’t make us safer. It makes us weaker.” – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
SAVE THE DATE: Friday, August 5 – YMCA BBQ benefitting Grove Public Schools (5:00-8:00) at Grove Civic Center. Saturday, August 6 – Boats, Bikes, Bikinis & BBQ at Arrowhead Yacht Club. Saturday, August 6 – YMCA Golf Tournament at Patricia Island Golf Club benefitting Grove Public Schools. Saturday, August 6 – Chicago in concert at Buffalo Run Casino. Saturday, August 6 – Hi-Fidelics live at Big Shots. Friday, August 19 – Mary Moore Charity Golf Classic at Shangri-La Golf Club. Friday-Saturday, August 12-13 – Shangri-La Men’s Golf Association Member-Guest Tournament. Saturday, August 13 – Woodstock on the Water 76th birthday celebration of the Pensacola Dam – bands at state park in Disney. Friday, August 19 – Mary Moore Charity Golf Classic at Shangri-La benefiting the Special Olympics programs at Home of Hope. Saturday, April 20 – Pajama Party at Monkey Island Pub.
Professional golf moves from Canada to New Jersey this week for one of the biggest tournaments of the year – the PGA Championship featuring $10 million in prize money. Coverage begins at noon Thursday & Friday and at 10:00Saturday & Sunday mornings on TNT. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds at 1:00 Saturday & Sunday.
In the NASCAR world, folks are off to Pocono this weekend for the Pennsylvania 400. Coverage is on NBCSN beginning Sunday at 12:30.
The weather outlook for the last weekend in July looks pretty darn good. Hot, but not as hot as last weekend. Mostly clear skies, light winds, highs around 90, lows around 70. Sounds perfect. Be safe, stay cool, and have a great weekend – and be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.
GRAND LAKE BUM
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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area? Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.
American Grill in Grove
Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)
Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley
Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)
Big Shots on Monkey Island (smoking upstairs—open Friday & Saturday nights)
Bobbers Café north of Langley on Highway 82
Book ‘ems at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patios)
Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)
Café Italia on Monkey Island
Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)
Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and on Monkey Island
Chicken Coop in Langley
Clanton’s Café in Vinita
Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)
Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina
Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)
Drake’s Restaurant in Grove
Frosty & Edna’s (west of the dam in Langley)
Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove
Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)
Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)
Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)
High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)
Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)
Iron Frog (Grove)
Island Joe's Kentena at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)
J.R. Spanky's on Highway 10 north of Grove (smoking)
Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina
Karrie's Kaboose in Vinita (smoking)
La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove
Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge
Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum
Los Garcias in Langley
Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove
Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)
Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)
Morrows Landing in Raper Hollow
Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove
Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South
Book ‘ems Restaurant & Pub at South Wind Marina in Bernice
Pickles at the Lake in Langley
Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)
Raggedy’s in Grove
Rancho Viejo in Grove
Riggs & Company in Langley
Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)
Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)
Scooters in Langley (smoking)
Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)
Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora
Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum
Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)
Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice
The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)
The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)
The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)
The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)
The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)
The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)
Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)
VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)
Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove
Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)
Wolf Creek Diner in Grove
Wyandotte Nation Casino at Twin Bridges (smoking)