March 23 Random Observations Of The Grand Lake Bum

COVID-19, low oil prices, high water levels, kids out of school, April showers in March, bans on international travel, bars closing, churches closing, the State Senate closed, the State Capitol closed to the public, Grove and Disney municipal closures to the public – for people who really like to worry, there has seldom been such a wide array of topics from which to choose.

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As of the beginning of the week, the President has said he’s not ordering any businesses closed. He’s leaving it to governors. Governor Stitt said Friday he’s not ordering any businesses closed. It’s up to mayors. It looks to me like being a mayor is the toughest job in government. I guess everything does roll downhill.

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The Coronavirus news has a silver lining, though. Congress finally has passed legislation with a bipartisan vote. When is the last time that happened? I wonder if we might be starting a new trend.

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The earth has successfully navigated another trip around the sun and Spring arrived on schedule last Thursday. To my way of thinking, boat sales and real estate sales should be skyrocketing at Grand Lake. What better place to self-quarantine than floating around the lake in peace and safety, or relaxing on the deck of an awesome lake home far from the dangers and rules of the big cities? It’s a trick we full-time lakers learned long, long ago. That’s why we are calmer, friendlier, healthier, and happier than everyone else. If you haven’t tried it, you should!

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With all the bans on international travel and fears of hazards of domestic commercial travel, Grand Lake has been a busy place. As it well should be. More than any place in Oklahoma, Grand Lake is a destination for those who want paradise, but don’t want to risk commercial travel to get there. With our sparse population, beautiful golf courses, wide open spaces and 45,000 surface acres of peaceful water, it’s no wonder Grand Lake is the ultimate destination in these uncertain days.

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I tried to get a Covid-19 test, but there were no test kits available for guys my size or income level. As nearly as I can tell, you have to be an NBA player to get tested. I don’t understand that. Those guys are at home doing nothing, anyway. Self-quarantine is no biggie for them!

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Despite all the government warnings, you can’t stop stupid people from doing stupid things. Unsurprisingly ignoring all the warnings of the federal government, tens of thousands of college students with irresponsible parents flooded the beaches of Florida and Georgia for Spring Break, partying like it was 1989. I long for the good ol’ days when all they brought home with them was sunburns, hangovers, and VD.

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Not everyone is stupid, thank goodness. Some people are downright brilliant in their efforts to survive troubled waters. My marketing award for the week goes to 1909 Restaurant in Grove and their offer to accompany every take-out order of $15 or more with a free roll of toilet paper. Brilliant!

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My buddy Mike Magoulas points out that, now that gas prices are so low, there’s no place to go.

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GRAND LAKE DINING & DRINKING UPDATE: Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill, the Summit Restaurant, and Lighthouse Supper Club are closed. Stuffn’s has drive-thru service. Doc’s Bar & Grill, 1909, Mulligan’s, and VIP Pizza have take-out service. Shebang, Blind Swine, The Parrot, and The Artichoke all offer both in-house dining and curb service deliveries. Roadhog Saloon offers in-restaurant dining. Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda is open for pizza-to-go from 11:00-2:00 Saturday & Sunday. Most restaurants are offering service of some kind while trying to adhere to safety recommendations. Giant kudos, by the way, to the Grove Area Chamber of Commerce, A Taste of Grand, grandlakenewsonline.com and 360grandlake.com for publishing and distributing lists and contact info for restaurants that are open and offering take-out, curbside, delivery and on-premises dining during this tough time.

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DRINK OF THE WEEK: Among potential “cures” for COVID-19 is chloroquine, a drug originally used for malaria. One of the main ingredients is quinine water…the same stuff in tonic water. So there you are, my worried friends. Your choice – Vodka & Tonic or Gin & Tonic. Stay healthy.

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: The Los Angeles Lakers started out in Minneapolis, which explains the name.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men. They’re losing $1 for ever .79 women are losing. (thanks to Sarah Williams for sharing this one)

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: THC-infused toilet paper. To calm your ass down.

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TWEET OF THE WEEK: To go to the grocery store, they said a mask and gloves were enough. They lied. Everybody else had clothes on!

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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK: What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird.

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HOME SCHOOLING OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: Many parents are discovering the teacher was not the problem.  

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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: Back in my day, there was so much toilet paper that people used to literally string it up in the trees of their enemies.

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FEEL OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Emmy-winning superstar Kenny Rogers died Friday night at the age of 81. Lyle Waggoner, longtime star of The Carol Burnett Show, died last week. He was 84. The final episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show aired 43 years ago last week.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Jana Kimball, Matt Moyer, Greg Brasel, Jeff Williams, Jerry Barnes, Amanda Cousins, Brice Long, Andy Stewart, Kathi Sikorski, Tonya Blair, Anna Pickens, Magen Faulconer, and Becky Sconyers.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: I received an offer of a “free gift.” I don’t know what that means. Aren’t all gifts free?

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: I know a lot of venues are closed, but there is still entertainment around the lake this weekend. At the Blind Swine, there’s karaoke on Thursday & Sunday nights, Erin Fitzgibbon will be on stage Friday night and Diversity will be at the Swine Saturday night. Monkey Island Pub hosts Karaoke with Tim Saturday night. At Littlefield Corner, the Road Hog Saloon has live entertainment every Saturday night.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: Tommy is on CBS Thursday night at 9:00. Ozark returns to NETFLIX for a new season Friday. The Blacklist airs on NBC Friday night at 7:00. Bull is on CBS Monday nights at 9:00.

 

BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Onward and Bloodshot at movie theaters, The Decline and Uncorked available this weekend on NETFLIX

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “It is no longer a matter of collective security. When individual freedoms become a threat to the society as a whole, those liberties are justifiably abridged for a period of time. When this country fought its Revolutionary War, its Civil War, WWI and WWII, individual liberties and freedoms were abridged for a time for the common good. We are in a time where drastic and unfortunate curtailments are necessary. Stand with America as a whole or stand for yourself alone. That is the choice we all face.” – John Trebilcock

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SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, April 4 – GEFFE Gala at Grove Civic Center. Friday-Sunday, April 17-19 – Tour d’ Island Weekend on Monkey Island. Saturday, April 18 – Monkey Island Pub Crawl. Saturday, April 18 – The fabulous Old Bulldog Band performs for a fundraiser at Big Shots. Saturday, April 25 – Monkey Island Trail “Golf Cart Poker Run” fundraiser. Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina.  Friday, May 1 – Season Opening for Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina. Friday-Sunday, May 1-3 – Nichols Marine In-Water Boat Show at Shangri-La Marina. Saturday, May 2 – Season Opening for Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda Harbor. Saturday, May 2 – 10^th Annual Cedar Port Marina Scavenger Hunt benefiting the Ketchum Backpack Program. Friday, May 8 – Grove Chamber Golf Tournament at Patricia Island.

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SPORTS NON-WATCH: No March Madness, no NBA basketball and no PGA Golf. Now, there’s also no French Open Tennis, either (it’s been delayed until Fall). The last professional sport to cancel scheduled events is NASCAR – every race until May 5, at this point, is canceled. The strangest thing of all, though, is the postponement of the Kentucky Derby until September. It hasn’t been moved from the first Saturday in May since World War II…until now.

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Aside from the normal spring shower here and there, this week looks pretty nice weather-wise. The weather for the calls for sunshine, highs in the upper 60s and lows in the upper 40s. Enjoy Spring Break and Coronavirus Break on Grand Lake! Remember, though… wherever you decide to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

1909 in Downtown Grove

Ailey’s Café in Langley

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Café Yum in Grove

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Domino’s in Grove

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Public House in Grove

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

Henrie’s Grill in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Matt’s Place in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrow’s Bar & Grill at Morrow’s Landing

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove