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May 3 Random Observations Of The Grand Lake Bum

I guess it dawned on everyone all at once. It’s MAY! I was hanging out at the marina last week; and I’ve never heard so many boats starting at once for the first time of the year. Some of them headed out on the lake, but most of them were technicians trying to catch up with people who forgot to have their boats dewinterized. The same is true on the golf courses. I stopped by the Shangri-La Demo Day Saturday, and there were people everywhere searching for an opportunity to blame equipment for their mediocre game. Yeah, that’s why I was there, too. Except I’m just trying to find something that will push my game up to mediocre.

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I did something over the weekend that I haven’t done in a while. I joined in on the fun of a weekend-long bachelor party. Wow! I’m more out of drinking condition than I thought I was. I’d better put in more practice.

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We’re ready to roll into summer now. We burned out socks at Harbors View Marina Saturday, and we began opening outdoor venues. It’s official. Get your party pants on!

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How to tell if you’re out of touch with real fans. An Ohio bar is refusing to show any NBA games until LeBron James is “expelled” from the league. Julius “Dr. J.” Erving left LeBron of his list of top 10 players in history. In the meantime, LeBron’s rookie card sold last week for $5.2 million (it sold for $1.9 million just last year).

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The Oklahoma legislature has entered the final month of the 2021 session – and what a weird session! They passed a raft of anti-abortion bills, but scoffed at additional social programs and increased education funding. As nearly as I can tell, watching out for the young in Oklahoma now seems to begin at conception and end at birth. I’ve never seen so many blatantly unconstitutional pieces of legislation passed, but I guess it makes constituents feel better to pass legislation saying the federal government can’t tell us what to do. I’m pretty sure that’s not how things work in the real world. You’ll be proud to know, I’m sure, that Oklahoma is now a “2nd Amendment Sanctuary State.” That has virtually no meaning, of course, because the 2nd Amendment is to the U.S. Constitution; so every state is a 2nd Amendment Sanctuary State. We can’t have drive-thru windows at liquor stores. That legislation failed. But, on the bright side, it’s now okay to run down a protestor in your pick-up truck. So protesting is no longer protected under the 1st Amendment; but hit & run is okay. It’s been an odd year, for sure.

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Maybe marriage licenses should be like driver’s licenses. Renew them every four years or they’re no longer valid. I like that better than my bride’s proposal for settling marital dispute: “Dueling pistols at twenty paces. Winner take all!”

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The Department of Homeland Security has again pushed back the deadline for getting a “Real ID” which will be required for commercial travel and entering federal buildings. The latest deadline was October of this year, but it has been pushed back to May, 2023 because states like Oklahoma don’t seem to be able to produce the Real IDs fast enough. In the meantime, I assume the Fake ID business is booming; so, just continue to use a fake ID, I guess. Right?

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DINING AND DRINKING UPDATE: The Quarterdeck Café at Tera Miranda is now open full-time, including breakfast service Saturday & Sunday mornings. The new Blind Swine on Duck Creek at Safe Harbor Harbor’s View Marina and Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina are both open for the season; and both the Balcony Bar at The Shebang and Big Shots Rhythm & Booze are now open for the season every Friday & Saturday night. Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina opens May 14. “Thursday Night Shrimp Boil & Karaoke” is underway for the summer every Thursday (6:00-9:00) at Doc’s Bar & Grill Patio.  Tuesday, Doc’s also hosts the weekly “Craft Burgers & Booze Tuesday” special (5:00-9:00). Wednesday nights, Doc’s hosts a weekly Hooray Grill Steak Cook-out party on the patio, and Friday night is All-You-Can-Eat Rib Night. Saturday and Sunday Brunch is served to the public at Doc’s Bar & Grill (9:00-2:00) and Sunday Brunch is available at Mulligans at Patricia Island (10:00-2:00).

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK:  Friday is the 2nd Annual Vinita Firefighters Golf Tournament at The Coves Golf Club. 7:30 a.m. registration and a 9:00 a.m. shotgun start.  There’s also a motorcycle Poker Run for Breast Cancer Saturday. Registration is at the Copper Penny Bar in Ketchum (11:00-1:00). Stops include Road Hog Saloon, Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill, Hooker’s Bar & Grill in Pryor, R.J.’s Bar in Vinita, and the American Legion in Spavinaw. Awards at 6:00 at Copper Penny Bar. Sunday is Mother’s Day. Be nice.

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BEST WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: Thursday Night Shrimp Boil and Karaoke with Jason Morgan kicks off the weekend on the patio at Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La this week. Friday night, Mark Gibson provides the live entertainment at Doc’s. The Balcony Bar at The Shebang provides great karaoke fun every Friday & Saturday night; and there’s dancing to great music across the street at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze.  KJ Flip will lead the karaoke fun Thursday night at Blind Swine. Erin Fitzgibbon entertains early Friday night (6:00) followed by Recommended Dose late. Saturday night, Barrett Lewis entertains at the Swine, and KJ Flip will be back with Cocktails & Karaoke Sunday night. Terry Jordan entertains Friday & Saturday nights at The Summit at Shangri-La; and Saturday night is Karaoke with Tim at Monkey Island Pub.

On South Grand, Caleb Fellenstein will provide the music at Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney Friday night followed by Clint Ingram Saturday. Caleb Fellenstein will be at Sharky’s Bar at Hammerhead Marina Saturday night.

Indigo Sky Casino this week presents Brett N’ Terri in the Echo Bar Thursday night, followed by Bobby Degonia Friday and Diversity Saturday. Downstream Casino’s Legends Sports Bar features music of Retrorockerz Friday night and Encore Saturday night. At Cherokee Casino Grove’s 1897 Bar, Brett N’ Terri will be performing Friday night followed by Travis Kidd Saturday.

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Actress Olivia Hussey, who won a Golden Globe at the age of 17 for her performance in 1968's "Romeo and Juliet," was a voice actress on several Star Wars video games.

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FUN FACT OF THE WEEK: Last week, Los Angeles Angels pitcher/designated hitter Shohei Ohtani accomplished a feat not seen in nearly a century -- taking the mound as his team's starting pitcher while simultaneously leading the league in home runs. The last man staking a claim to such an effort? Herman "Babe" Ruth, on June 13, 1921.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: Of all the things that taste like chicken, it’s weird that eggs are not one of them.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: I before E, except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

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TWEET OF THE WEEK: It’s funny people always say “avoid that like the plague;” but when the actual plague shows up, millions of people do very little to avoid it.

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BEST PUN OF THE WEEK: Someone posted that they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, “You mean like the ones grammar used to make?”

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OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: I don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly. I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

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FEEL-OLD MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Country music icon Willie Nelson turned 88 years old last week; and “The loneliest man in humanity,” Michael Collins, who flew alone around the moon in the Apollo 11 Command Module in 1969 while Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, died last week. He was 90 years old. Actress Olympia Dukakis, Oscar winner for her performance with Cher in Moonstruck, died over the weekend. She was 89.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Paula Sanford, Senator Micheal Bergstrom, Dean Strimple, Pam Borin, Jimmie Tramel, Tony Coatney, Kristi Wallace, Lisa Alexander, Cherie Long, Donna Belt, Pam Wyrick, James Brock, Marc Moser, Curt Landry, Roger Cook, Beverly Funke, Renae Ryan, and Darryl Gupton.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: If money is the root of all evil, why do they ask for it at church?

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: That Damn Michael Che is available Thursday on HBO Max. The new Tina Fey-produced series Girls5Eva is available Friday on Peacock. The Voice airs live round competition Monday night at 7:00 on NBC.

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: Thank goodness movie theaters and the movie industry are springing back to life. Major theater releases this week include Here Today, Wrath of Man, and The Human Factor. The Columnist is available in virtual theaters. Monster premieres Friday on NETFLIX.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “I think the life cycle is all backwards.  You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home.  You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work.  You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.  You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.  You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating.  And you finish off as an orgasm.” – George Carlin

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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, May 13 – Grove Chamber Members Luncheon at Grove Civic Center. Friday, May 14 – Eddy’s Lakeside Bar opens for the season at Shangri-La Marina. Saturday, May 15 – Fifties Pin-Up Costume Party at Monkey Island Pub. Saturday, May 15 – Napa Nights at South Grand Lake Regional Airport. Thursday, May 20 – Grove Chamber Business After Hours at The Regatta. Friday, May 21 – South Grand Lake Chamber Golf Tournament at Shangri-La. Saturday, May 22 – Mad Dog 2021 Critter Run bar crawl scavenger hunt on Monkey Island. Saturday, May 22 – Grand Opening Celebration at Marina Del Ray Resort (6:30). Monday, May 24 – Grove Chamber Trivia Night at The Regatta (6:00-8:00). Friday, May 28 – Grove Chamber Eggs & Issues Breakfast at Episcopal Church (8:00-9:15 a.m.). Saturday, May 29 – First Farmers Market of the Year at Grove Community Center. Saturday, June 5 – Camp Bandage at Grand Lake RV Resort (noon-4:00). Wednesday-Thursday, June 9-10 – SLWGA Shangri-La Tee Da Golf Tournament at Shangri-La Golf Club. Thursday-Sunday, June 10-13 – Toes in the Grand Festival at Sniders Campground and Wolf Creek Park. Saturday, June 12 – Daisy Dukes of Hazzard Party at Sharky’s. Friday, June 18 – Grove Rotary Club Lobsterfest at Grove Civic Center.  Saturday, June 19 – Rock the Dock Concert at Check-In Bay (noon-5:00). Friday-Saturday, June 25-26 – Grand Jam Music Festival at Grand Meridian RV Park.

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SPORTS WATCH: The PGA Tour heads for Quail Hollow Club in Charlotte, North Carolina this week for the Wells Fargo Championship. Coverage begins on the Golf Channel at 1:00 Thursday & Friday and noon Saturday & Sunday. CBS picks up coverage of the final two rounds Saturday & Sunday at 2:00.

In the NBA, the OKC Thunder host the Sacramento Kings Tuesday night at 7:00. Thursday, they begin a grueling road trip out west with two back-to-back series including four games in six days. They’re at Golden State Thursday and Saturday, then on to Sacramento for a couple of rematches with the Kings Sunday and Tuesday. All games tip-off at 9:00. All are on Bally Sports Oklahoma.

The #1 OU Women’s Softball team wraps up the regular season with three games at Oklahoma State this weekend. The final two bedlam games will be televised Saturday at 6:00 and Sunday at noon, both on ESPNU.

NASCAR drivers are in Darlington Sunday afternoon for the Goodyear 400. Coverage begins at 2:30 Sunday on Fox Sports 1.

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Weather for the weekend ahead looks nice. It may be a little breezy for Mother's Day weekend, but very nice for the most part. We may have a shower or two (it's May, after all), but we'll have sunshine mostly with highs in the mid-70s and lows in the 60s. We might hit 80 degrees by Mother's Day. There’s a lot happening all around Grand Lake. Have a wonderful weekend of fun - and take your Mma!. Remember, though, wherever you party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me!

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

Ailey’s Café in Langley

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Duck Creek at Safe Harbor Harbors View Marina

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Buffalo Bar at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café at Har-Ber Village

Café Yum in Grove

Cesar’s Place in Vinita

Cesar’s Place in Langley

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Copper Penny Bar in Ketchum

Coppers Tea & Coffee House in Grove

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Domino’s in Grove

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina (smoking)

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lake Public House in Grove

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Honey Creek BBQ in Grove (south of Honey Creek bridge)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lester’s Third Street Diner in Grove

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Marina’s Place at Littlefield Corner

Matt’s Place in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Monkey Island Trail Rides

Monkey Island Winery

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pistol Pat’s on Honey Creek in Grove

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

Summit Restaurant at Shangri-La on Monkey Island

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Pourhouse at The Regatta in Grove

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove

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