November 12 Random Observations of The Grand Lake Bum

We got a little advance taste of winter over the weekend. It was fun to watch boaters scramble around desperate to get their boats winterized because it was going to be 20-something degrees for a couple of hours. After all these years, I’m still astonished at the number of people who don’t realize your boat engines won’t freeze and break when it’s a couple of degrees below freezing for a couple of hours. Heat comes off the 60-degree water, fiberglass in the boats is still at about 45 degrees. Don’t panic. Better yet…plan ahead next time.

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I spent my weekend with important indoor activities…like watching Bedlam Football and Jello Wrestling. WHAT? Jello Wrestling? Yep. It’s a new event held last Saturday at Blind Swine to raise money for combat vets. It was pretty fun, although I was a little disappointed there weren’t more contestants from the staff of The Office next door to the Swine. Apparently it was not a “clothing optional” event, after all.

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In case you want to join the fun on Monkey Island – this weekend is a good opportunity. Everybody will be eating pancakes Saturday morning at The Shebang, raising money for the Toys & Clothes for Kids Christmas Fund. Please enjoy – and give generously. Don’t eat too much, though. The Monkey Island Thanksgiving Potluck Dinner is Saturday night at Monkey Island Pub. Bring a side dish or dessert…or not. There’s always PLENTY!

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If you’ve become accustomed to dirty fighting and politicians saying nasty things about each  other – and you’re afraid of going into withdrawal this weekend because of an end to Trump rallies and political campaigns and commercials, join me Saturday night at Blind Swine for a special “Jello Wrestling” competition. It’ll probably be about the same thing; and by the time that event is over, commercials for the 2020 Elections will probably start running!

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Now that the dust is settling on the mid-term elections, perhaps you missed this important vote. If you have ever thought, “damn, I’d rather be represented by a dead whore house owner than a Democrat” – maybe you should pack up and move quickly to Nevada. Brothel owner Dennis Hof defeated Democrat Lesia Romanov November 6 in the race for Nevada’s 36^th Assembly District. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to celebrate his victory because he was found dead October 16 after a weekend of parties celebrating his 72^nd birthday. I guess the word didn’t get out to all the voters.

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It’s only a matter of time before the actions of a motivational speaker from The Netherlands sweeps through the American female population. Why didn’t we think of this sooner? 69-year-old Emile Ratelband has petitioned a court to change his birth certificate – and therefore his legal age – to show that he was born 20 years later. He says he feels 49, his doctor says he has the body of a 49-year-old – and he is willing to push back his pension 20 years if the judge will agree. It sounds weird, but the judge noted that it used to be unheard of to change the sex on birth certificates for transgender individuals, but now it is pretty commonplace. The motivation is just what you might think. Ratelband says he thinks reducing his legal age by 20 years would make him more attractive in internet dating sites.

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BEST FACEBOOK POST OF THE WEEK: How often do you look at someone’s Facebook status and think…“Oh, just shut the hell up!”

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BEST HEADLINE SEEN THIS WEEK (on sci-techuniverse.com): NASA Wants to Probe Uranus in Search of Gas

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RANDY KREHBIEL’S RANDOM FACTOID OF THE WEEK: Cadillac President Henry Leland ordered his company to come up with an electric starter after a friend died from injuries suffered while trying to crank start a stalled Caddy.

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SURPRISE FACT OF THE WEEK: The Colorado cake baker who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple now has a gay governor.

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BEST SIGN SEEN THIS WEEK: Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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TWEET OF THE WEEK: I saw a store that has a sign that reads, “We treat you like family.” Yup, NOT going there.

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FEEL-OLD MOMENT OF THE WEEK: The tragic “Jonestown Massacre” where 918 people died under the direction/control of cult leader Jim Jones in Guyana was 40 years ago this month.

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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat, then take her to the first guess.

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IRISH ADVICE: Don’t run with bagpipes. You could put and aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt.

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BEST OBSERVATION OF THE WEEK: In just over 2 years, Harry and Meghan have met, fallen in love, moved her entire life to London, had a royal wedding and got pregnant. I still haven’t re-hung the towel rail that fell off the wall in 2014.

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GRAND LAKE BUM SHOUT-OUTS: Happy birthday wishes go out this week to Bryan Wilkinson, Clark Boone, Roxane Gardner, Chuck Perry, Duane Koehler, Gary Goss, Cliff Hudson, Steve Wetwiska, Tom Fielder, Kenny Cole, Leann Laue-Goff, Roy Morgan, Dar Phillips, and Mike Long.

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UNANSWERED QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

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BEST EVENTS OF THE WEEK: There is certainly no shortage of things to do around the lake this week! Friday is the Flying J Ranch Extravaganza benefiting St. Jude. The annual “Santa Paws Pet Photos” session is set both Friday (5:00-8:00) and Saturday (10:00-4:00) at Second Chance Thrift Store in Grove. Saturday morning is the “Fill ‘em Up Breakfast Pancake Feed from 8:00-10:30 at The Shebang sponsored by Larry & Joyce Duke and The Shebang benefiting the Monkey Island Clothes & Toys for Kids Fund. Don’t eat too much, because Saturday night is the annual Monkey Island Thanksgiving at the Monkey Island Pub. Bring a dish and enjoy a great evening. Wrap up your weekend Sunday evening at 6:30 by sipping a few beverages and enjoying a little Pumpkin Painting at Juan Montez Cantina at Red Arrow Marina.

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GRAND LAKE WEEKEND LIVE ENTERTAINMENT: There’s plenty of great entertainment coming up around the lake. On Monkey Island this weekend, the dance floor will be hoppin’ with karaoke fun and great dance music at Big Shots Rhythm & Booze. Just up highway 125, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Monkey Island Pub and Saturday night is their big Monkey Island Thanksgiving potluck dinner. At the Blind Swine, there’s live entertainment every Friday and Saturday night (including Erin Fitzgibbon Friday), and KJ Flip hosts karaoke Sunday and Tuesday. At Littlefield Corner, there’s always live entertainment Saturday nights at the Road Hog Saloon.

On South Grand Lake, Friday night is Karaoke Night at Michelle’s Bar & Grill at Grand Lodge in Ketchum – and there’s always live entertainment at Michelle’s on Saturday night.

Area casinos have big entertainment plans, too. Cherokee Casino-Grove’s 1897 Bar features Whiskey Poet Society Friday night and music by The Rosy Hips Saturday night. At Bordertown Casino’s Lost Creek Saloon, you are the star at Thursday night karaoke. Heath Wright entertains at Bordertown both Friday and Saturday nights. Grand Lake Casino’s Venue 655 features The Rosy Hips Friday night; and at River Bend Casino’s Club 60 West Bar, Big Smitty will perform Friday night. Indigo Sky Casino offers three nights of musical entertainment this week. The Tim Amey Band performs Thursday night in the Echo Bar, followed by Aces Wild both Friday and Saturday nights.

The best spots to catch all your favorite sports action, including the PGA, College Football, NFL games, NASCAR, and NBA games are the Standing Room Only Bar at The Shebang, Monkey Island Pub, Blind Swine, Road Hog Saloon, 1909 in Grove, and Pickles at the Lake in Langley.

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BUM MUST-SEE TV: The Kominsky Method and Narcos: Mexico are both available Friday on NETFLIX.  Escape at Dannemora airs Sunday night at 9:00 on Showtime; and good bets are always Madam Secretary (Sunday at 9:00 on CBS) and Bull (Mondays at 9:00 on NBC).  

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BUM MUST-SEE MOVIES: At Eternity’s Gate, Instant Family and Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “The people have spoken…the bastards.” – Best concession speech EVER by Dick Tuck after losing a 2016 State Senate primary election race in California

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SAVE THE DATE: Thursday, November 22 – Thanksgiving Feast at Arrowhead Yacht Club. Friday, November 23 – Shangri-La Members’ “Black Friday Night Seafood Buffet” at The Summit Restaurant. Saturday, November 24 – Christmas Tree Lighting and “Ugly Sweater Party” at Cherokee Yacht Club. Tuesday, November 27 – Benefit for Playmaker’s Youth Theatre at 1909 in Grove at 5:00.  Thursday, December 6 – Vinita Christmas Parade of Lights. Friday, December 7 – Judging of Duck Creek dock decorating contest. Saturday, December 8 – Polar Bear Plunge at Arrowhead Yacht Club. Saturday, December 8 – Jingle Bell 5K Fun Run in Grove. Saturday, December 8 – Gingerbread Christmas Festival & Parade in Grove. Saturday, December 8 – Christmas Parade across the Pensacola Dam. Saturday, December 8 – Christmas Lights Boat Parade from Cherokee Yacht Club.

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It’s week #12 in the world of college football – and every game matters a little more these days. OU hosts Kansas Saturday while OSU hosts West Virginia. Tulsa is on the road at Navy (2:30 on CBSN) and Arkansas is at Mississippi State at 11:00.

Thursday night NFL action features Green Bay at Seattle at 7:00 (Fox). Sunday noon games include Houston at Washington (CBS) and Dallas at Atlanta (Fox). The 3:30 game on Fox sends Philadelphia to New Orleans (Dez Bryant??). Sunday night’s game has Minnesota at Chicago (7:00 on NBC); and Monday Night Football features the red-hot Kansas City Chiefs at the red-hot L.A. Rams (7:00 on ESPN).

There’s great NBA action this week, too. The OKC Thunder have a tough road trip beginning in Phoenix Saturday night (8:00 on FSOK) before heading out west to Sacramento Monday night (9:00 on FSOK/NBA) and Golden State Wednesday night (9:30 on ESPN).

In the world of professional golf, PGA players are at Sea Island, Georgia this week. Coverage of the RSM Classic starts at 12:30 on The Golf Channel Thursday-Sunday.

NASCAR drivers are in South Florida this week to wrap up the season. Coverage of the RSM Classic at Homestead-Miami Speedway begins at 1:30 Sunday on NBC.

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This weekend’s weather looks nicer than last week with temperatures up about 10 degrees. We’ll have light winds, sunshine for the most part, and high temperatures in the mid-to-upper 50s. Lows will be in the upper 30s until Sunday night when a warm front comes through, leading us to a few showers and a high temperature Monday that starts with a “6.”.  Party on! That’s what we do! Happy Saturday morning pancakes and Saturday night Thanksgiving to all my Monkey Island friends. Have fun and remember…wherever you decide to party, be sure to buy a drink for the guy next to you. It could be me.

GRAND LAKE BUM

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Looking for places to go, things to do, services to use or property to buy in the Grand Lake area?  Here’s a starter kit listing of “open to the public” fun places to spend time at Grand Lake.

 

1909 in Downtown Grove

Ailey’s Café in Langley

American Grill in Grove

Aquabar & Grill at The Landings Marina on Monkey Island (smoking on the deck)

Artichoke Restaurant & Bar in Langley

Balcony Bar at The Shebang (Smoking – open Friday & Saturday nights)

Big Shots on Monkey Island (Open Friday & Saturday nights)

Blind Swine on Monkey Island

Blue Bluff Café at Blue Bluff Harbor

Bobbers Café in Langley

Buffalo Run Casino in Miami (smoking)

Café Italia on Monkey Island

Café Yum in Grove

Carlos Montez in Langley (smoking in bar)

Ceasar’s Place in Vinita and at Littlefield Corner

Checkered Past in Grove

Chickanella’s in Grove

Chicken Coop West of Langley

Clanton’s Café in Vinita

Coffee Shelter in Ketchum

Cosby’s Catfish on Highway 28 in Eucha (East of Disney)

Doc’s Bar & Grill at Shangri-La Resort Hotel

Docks Bar at Harbors View Marina

Downstream Casino in Quapaw (smoking)

Drake’s on the Lake at Blue Bluff Harbor

Drake’s Restaurant in Grove

Eddy’s Lakeside Bar at Shangri-La Marina

Gabby’s Place in downtown Grove

Goodfella’s Pizza (Cleora and Grove)

Grand Lake Casino, north of Grove on Highway 10 (smoking)

Grand Lodge in Ketchum (smoking)

Hatfield’s Saloon in Grove

Henrie’s Grill in Grove

High Winds Casino east of Miami (smoking)

Indigo Sky Casino west of Seneca, Mo. (smoking)

Juan Montez Restaurant & Cantina at Red Arrow Marina

Karrie's Kaboose in Langley (smoking)

La Casita de Martin in downtown Grove

Lakeside Bar & Grill in Grove at Sail Boat Bridge

Lighthouse Supper Club in Ketchum

Los Garcias in Langley

Lupe's Mexican Restaurant in Grove

Monkey Island Pub (Smoking)

Monkey’s Uncle at Littlefield Corner (Breakfast & lunch)

Mooney’s Sunset Bar & Grill in Disney (smoking, etc.)

Morrows Bar & Grill in Raper Hollow

Mulligan’s at Patricia Island Golf Club in Grove

Nu Taste Restaurant in Grove

Okie Smokies Barbecue in Grove on Hwy 59 South

Pappy’s Bar on Hwy 10 east of Grove

Pickles at the Lake in Langley

Pit Stop Café in Grove

Quarterdeck Cafe at Tera Miranda Harbor (smoking on the deck)

Raggedy’s in Grove

Rancho Viejo in Grove

Riggs & Company in Langley

River Bend Casino in Wyandotte (smoking)

Road Hog Saloon at the entrance to Monkey Island (smoking...but not at lunch)

Rusty Anchor (next to the cliffs at Dripping Springs)

Scooters in Langley (smoking)

Sharky’s at Hammerhead Marina (smoking)

Smokin’ Spur BBQ & Trading Post at Old Towne Plaza, Cleora

Sticky Fingers Barbecue in Ketchum

Stuffn’s Restaurant in Ketchum (Smoking on patio)

The Grill at Indian Hills Resort & Marina in Bernice

The Landings Marina (smoking on the deck)

The Landings Market and Grill on Monkey Island (smoking on the patio)

The Parrot at Honey Creek Landing in Grove (Smoking on the patio)

The Office on Monkey Island (smoking)

The Stables Casino in Miami (smoking)

The Shebang on Monkey Island (smoking on patio and Balcony Bar)

Ugly’s Grill & Bar, Thunder Bay Marina (smoking)

VIP Pizza at Hammerhead Marina (smoking on deck)

Water Side Bar & Grill in Grove

Waterway Café, Harbors View Marina (smoking on breakwater dining deck)

Wolf Creek Diner in Grove